Rethinking Love, Marriage and Responsibility

I will never stop emphasizing this truth:

Women are often blamed more than men for the collapse of marriages, not because men are blameless, but because society holds women to an unrealistic standard.

Women are seen as the heart of the home, created with an innate capacity to nurture, accommodate, and hold a man close.

When this unique quality is absent, whether due to emotional distance caused by work, a marriage built solely on financial security rather than love, or the inability to forgive betrayal, the marriage often crumbles.

It's disheartening to see how infidelity affects men and women differently.

While a woman might struggle to forgive but eventually move past a man’s cheating, many men find it nearly impossible to overlook a woman’s unfaithfulness.

This, I believe, is rooted in pride.

For many men, their sense of identity and masculinity is tied to the exclusivity of their partner’s affection.

When that boundary is crossed, it feels like an attack on their very core.

This is why some men, paradoxically, will fiercely protect their side chicks, treating them with the same possessiveness they reserve for their wives, as though ownership equals love.

But here’s the heart of the matter:

if salt loses its ability to season, it ceases to be salt.

Likewise, when the foundational qualities that sustain love and partnership are absent, marriage becomes an empty shell destined to collapse.

Both men and women are to blame for the destruction of their unions, yet the root often lies in the choices made long before vows are exchanged.

It’s time we start marrying out of genuine love, not convenience, financial security, or societal pressure.

Too often, people settle for the person who proposes first, the one with the most promising bank account, or the one society deems “suitable,” ignoring the quiet voice within that questions the authenticity of the connection.

Society itself shares part of the blame.

The pressure placed on women to get married by a certain age forces many into unions they are neither emotionally nor mentally prepared to fight for when challenges inevitably arise.

The rush to escape the stigma of singleness leads some to choose partners they cannot truly build a future with, mistaking temporary comfort for lifelong compatibility.

In the end, I do hold women accountable, not for failed marriages alone, but for not prioritizing the kind of love that endures.

Too many cling to men who seem to promise financial fulfillment while ignoring the deeper need for emotional and spiritual connection.

When the money runs dry, unresolved issues that were once hidden by luxury and comfort begin to surface, tearing the fragile relationship apart.

And let’s not pretend it's always about money.

Some women marry for physical satisfaction, attracted by a man’s appearance or sexual prowess.

But everything physical fades.

Beauty, strength, and even passion can wither.

What remains?

The pure heart of a man or woman is deeply spiritual and never fails.

From such a heart flows understanding, love, trust, sincerity, and true protection, the real foundations of any lasting relationship.

So let’s stop choosing foolishly.

Let’s move past the allure of wealth, status, or superficial beauty.

A man with money but no heart will leave you empty.

A woman with a perfect figure but no character will drain your soul.

Marry the one whose heart beats in rhythm with yours.

Marry the one you can build with, suffer with, grow with, and find joy with, even when life strips away all the extras.

Only then can peace, love, and fulfillment truly take root.

Peace.